A few days ago, I coined a phrase in a Facebook post that’s been rattling around in my head ever since: I called the Democrats “political incels.” The more I’ve mulled it over, the clearer the parallels become between actual incels—short for “involuntary celibates”—and the predicament the Democratic Party finds itself in today.

The term “incel” refers to individuals, mostly young men, who are consumed by frustration over their inability to form romantic or sexual relationships despite desperately wanting them. Born in 1990s online forums, the label initially described personal isolation but has morphed into a tangled cultural phenomenon. Some self-identified incels, especially in certain internet subcultures, channel their resentment toward women, societal norms, or perceived rivals, blaming external factors like looks or cultural biases for their woes. While not all incels adopt toxic ideologies, the term has become tied to toxic masculinity and, in extreme cases, misogyny, thanks to the loud rhetoric of an online few.

This dynamic dovetails with broader societal issues: the struggle to connect with young men, the crumbling of traditional Democratic voting blocs, and the persistent strength of President Donald Trump’s agenda, as shown in recent polls.

The difficulty in “talking to young men”—evidenced by Democrats reportedly spending $20 million on consultants to crack the code—stems from a widening gap between societal expectations and the realities these men face. Rapid cultural shifts, economic pressures, and evolving gender norms leave many young men feeling adrift, unsure of their place. It doesn’t help that Democrats often seem to scold or marginalize them for simply being men. The incel subculture, though extreme, mirrors a slice of this discontent, amplifying feelings of rejection and powerlessness. Progressive movements and mainstream institutions struggle to address these concerns without coming off as dismissive or patronizing, widening the rift.

This alienation has eroded the Democrats’ traditional voter base. Historically, the party leaned on a coalition of working-class voters, minorities, and younger generations. But recent polls show a shift, with young men—especially white and non-college-educated—slipping away. A 2024 Pew Research Center survey found 58% of men aged 18-29 now lean Republican, up from 49% in 2020. This drift reflects frustration with Democratic messaging, often seen as favoring identity politics over the economic and social issues that hit home for young men, as well as policies that reinforce those perceptions. While the incel phenomenon doesn’t speak for all young men, it underscores a broader sense of neglect that pushes some toward populist figures offering tangible solutions.

Meanwhile, President Trump’s agenda remains robust, particularly among these disaffected groups. A 2025 Gallup poll pegs his approval rating at 46%, fueled by his appeal to those fed up with establishment politics. His platform—rooted in economic nationalism, traditional values, and a rejection of “woke” culture—strikes a chord with young men who feel sidelined by progressive narratives. Trump’s brash style and vows to restore “strength” and “opportunity” resonate with those who see themselves as pushed to the margins, including some in incel-adjacent circles. Though he doesn’t directly engage incel ideology, his critique of cultural elites and societal shifts offers a rallying cry for those seeking answers absent in leftist politics.

The political incel process seems to dovetail with the current process of cursing, threats, and the caustic “tough guy” personas the Democrats have chosen to adopt. It is hilarious to watch the feminized “men” of the left talk tough in social media when what comes across is desperation and fear.

I guess when David Hogg, and X personalities/keyboard warriors like Harry Sisson, Chris Mowery, John Favreau, Jon Lovett, Dan Pfeiffer, and Tommy Vietor, (the last four are hosts of the popular lefty podcast Pod Save America) are your models for manhood, incel-like status is inevitable. The screeching harpy feminist wine box crowd on X seems more masculine.

The convergence of these forces—incel-like frustration, the failure to engage young men, Democratic voter losses, and Trump’s enduring pull—lays bare a daunting challenge for the Democrats, one I’m not convinced they should overcome. Tackling the roots of alienation, like economic inequality, social isolation, and cultural polarization, demands a nuanced approach that doesn’t vilify young men but fosters real dialogue. The Democrats, however, seem ill-equipped for this task.

If they were better at it, they wouldn’t have such a hard time finding a date.